Tuesday, October 20, 2009

What a year...

A year ago today was one of the saddest days of my life and my families lives. We lost my step-dad Steve after a short, but very hard illness. We have been through so much in this year. I remember going to my Mom's house and praying that I wouldn't go into labor. Now, I have a bouncing little boy who is walking, but am also missing 2 of the best guys I knew. My grandpa Clynn also died the night before Ryker was born (November 4th). Here's what I remember about these 2 great men:

Steve
You were always smiling. Hunting was your thing (you would be proud- Dustin's trying to get his BBD *big buck down*) We think about you a lot when Dustin uses your elk call to get Ryker excited, or when he puts on your camo.
I remember that you told me I have a lot of dads and that you will always be there for me and it is true, but I miss you a lot and wish you were here. You sent me Ryker and I see a lot of you in him (mesmerized by those elk and loves the outdoors!)
We spent a lot of time together in the months before you passed. You were so so positive and give me so much inspiration to get through my trials. I walked into the specialty hospital for the first time last week- where we spent lots of time and where we got the news. I thought it would be hard, and it was, but I was comforted knowing that you aren't in pain anymore and that you did meet Ryker.
Thanks for being a great dad to me and for always being such a fun, loving person. Miss you and love you lots!

Grandpa Clynn
I remember the first time I layed eyes on you...what a sad day but you made me so comfortable (little back story- I met him at my Dad's funeral and had never met that part of my family before). Your love for me was always there, even though I wasn't there.
You were also such a fun person. I loved d the time we spent talking. You made me feel so welcome into the family and I never once doubted that you loved me. You also were a great example of strength in hard times.
Although I only got to know you for a short while, I really love you. You overnighted Ryker straight to us and I can just see you smiling as you sent me this fun, crazy boy and said "good luck! He's going to be a fun little handful!" Love you and miss you!

Since I couldn't let myself end this post while crying- I thought I would give some happy news.
RYKER IS WALKING! Yay horray! He is so brave and stands up and takes 4-5 steps, falls down and right back up he gets! He has also taken a liking to bringing me things. This morning it was graham crackers that he wanted opened and this afternoon- every book he owns. He also has become even more lovey and gives big open mouth kisses that leave me with slobber all over and a big grin on my face. Thanks Steve and Grandpa Clynn for sending me my fun little guy!

2 comments:

K said...

What a great post. I'm so happy that you can reminisce and remember all the good things about these two men in your life. Now your little man is walking, you're in for lots of surprises- messes in every room in your house:) Just take lots of pictures, they grow up too fast.

The Phetsysouk's said...

Your such a strong person Ashley. I am sorry for your losses. . . And your little Ryker is so cute. You are an awesome mom!!