Sunday, January 17, 2010

Scope

Just wanted to do a quick update. It is luck of the draw as to how Ryker is feeling and how he sleeps. We are hanging in there though...
We have a scope scheduled for him on Wednesday the 20th at noon. I can't feed him anything for 24 hours! Just clear liquids and then nothing at all except water for 12 hours before then no sippy to help him out on the way down....poor little guy!
The thoughts of turning a crying, scared little guy over to the nurses who will then poke him and make him fall asleep literally makes me sick to my stomach. I really don't know if I can do it! Although it isn't "surgery", he still is being put under anesthesia and I still have to let me little boy go for a time. I can't even go to a movie or out for the night because I hate to be away from him...
I sure hope something comes out of this that can help him because he does not deserve any of it. It makes me so anxious to think about how all this will affect him in the future. What if he can't eat like the others? What will it do to him if he can't have sleepovers with his friends? What stigma will be attached to him if he is on medication and sick? :(
The things I am doing now just seem so inadequate. Everyday I feel more and more insufficient. I think "Someone else can do this better and make him feel better and make Ryker grow into a better child and adult." I guess my solace is knowing that I am his comfort. I alone can make him feel better when he is sick. I am just going to have to let the "supermom" ideals fall away for a time and just offer comfort to this little man.
Wish us luck and prayers are always appreciated. Thank you for all of your support.

2 comments:

Jonathan and Chelsea said...

I hope you find out something Ash, He is a fighter. We will pray for your little family, and for some answers soon! Hang in there.

Steve and Chelsie said...

I'm so sorry I didn't read this earlier. I"m sorry to hear about Ryker. I hope he improves, and I hope everything turns ok. Our prayers are with you guys! Keep us updated!